Dear Bunmi, I’m in my mid-30’s, and just out of a relationship that I thought would have ended in marriage. Now I’m convinced that I might never marry and start a family. A few of my friends are in the same boat and one or two have opted for having children out of wedlock. I find myself jealous of younger women who are married with children. Will my time ever come? Irene Bye-mail. Dear Irene, Following a major disappointment like you’ve currently experienced, you need to allow yourself time to feel sad, disillusioned and even angry. Don’t rush through these emotions because you think you need to hurry up and find another partner. Instead, use this post-break-up period to get your feelings in order. Reach out to your family and friends. Make sure you’re taking good care of yourself, eating well, exercising regularly and getting enough sleep. When you’re feeling reasonably stable and secure, sit down and re-examine your assumptions about marriage and its place in your life. Many women believe they’re not complete until they have that ring on their fmger. But experts also counsel that you should let the hard-earned wisdom of your life experiences, which younger women don’t possess yet, help you arrive at more realistic conclusions. For instance, ask yourself, what will marriage really do for you, that you can’t do for yourself? Many people marry, happily, for the first time, in their late 30’s and 40’s. When you’re ready, let your friends and acquaintances know that you are willing to give love another chance!
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